The rewrite: Timed Write

Original:

The film Off The Map had things that seemed to be over the line to me. Crossing the line is in the eye of the beholder. Doing something that is over the line can be something as easy as yelling at someone, some one can think this is over the line. In the case of the movie, Off The Map, being non-conformity or over the line is doing something that the rest of the world feels is not explicable to them.

When Off The Map starts it takes place in the middle of nowhere in New Mexico in 1976. They live in a world of their own, they are really off the map. Charlie is in a very depressed state and Arlene does not know what to do to get him out of it. They live off of less than 400.00 dollars a month and hunt their own food. They do things that the rest of us feel is over the line and not right. Arlene and Charlie allow their daughter Bo to do some things that are over the line. She gets a credit card, writes letters to companies to get food, and also she kills a coyote just to see what would happen. The IRS has been sending them letters saying that they owe money. Arlene does not respond to them because she feels they do not owe any thing.

An IRS agent by the name of William shows up at their house to talk to them about how much they owe. William gets sick and ends up needing to stay there while he gets better. Bo feels that William is her connection to the outside world. William is also depressed and not in the best state in his life. William has gone from a cook to a IRS agent. This shows that he is not stable with his life. This is a very dramatic change for someone to go through. William ends up staying with the family and never leaves. He ends up falling in love with Arlene and tells her this, this is crossing the line. It is wrong of him to tell a married women that he is love with her. This is not socially excapable to do this, they welcomed him into their home and he should have respected them for that.

Charlie is a very depressed father and he not in a good state of mind. He drinks, sleeps, and walks around the house naked. This is over the line for Charlie to walk around naked in front of another man and more than any thing in front of his 12 year old daughter. Arlene also gets their friend George to go to the city and get some pills for depression to give to Charlie. This is not only illigal but also a very poor example to their daughter. They should be teaching her right and wrong; not how to cheat the system.

Off The Map made me stop and think, is life really as hard as we make it out to be? We work so hard for every thing in our life and some times we get nowhere in our life. This movie made me stop and think about what it was really trying to teach us. This movie was trying to show us that living simple is a better way to live then always stressed out. Willaim stayed there and became a painter, lived just as care free as they were and for once he seemed happy and not as depressed as he always had been. This film is one that most of us viewed is non-conformity to our normal thinking. There are more then one thing in this movie that we felt were not explicable and over the line, but then as we talked about this movie we started thinking that it was a different time, they lived care free, and had different values then we did. This film brought new light to the meaning of off the map.

The rewrite:

The film Off The Map had things that seemed to be over the line to me. Crossing the line is in the eye of the beholder. Doing something that is over the line can be something as easy as yelling at someone, some one can think this is over the line. In the case of the movie, Off The Map, being non-conformity or over the line is doing something that the rest of the world feels is not expectable to them.

When Off The Map starts it takes place in the middle of nowhere in New Mexico in 1976. They live in a world of their own; they are really off the map. Charlie is in a very depressed state and Arlene does not know what to do to get him out of it. They live off of less than 400.00 dollars a month and hunt their own food. They do things that the rest of us feel is over the line and not right. Arlene and Charlie allow their daughter Bo to do some things that are over the line. She gets a credit card, writes letters to companies to get food, and also she kills a coyote just to see what would happen and how that would make her mother feel. The IRS has been sending them letters saying that they owe money. Arlene does not respond to them because she feels they do not owe any thing.

An IRS agent by the name of William shows up at their house to talk to them about how much they owe. William gets sick and ends up needing to stay there while he gets better. Bo feels that William is her connection to the outside world. William is also depressed and not in the best state in his life. William has gone from a cook to an IRS agent. This shows that he is not stable with his life. This is a very dramatic change for someone to go through. William ends up staying with the family and never leaves. He ends up falling in love with Arlene and tells her this, this is crossing the line. It is wrong of him to tell a married woman that he is love with her. "The song "Me and Mrs. Jones" is a famous sound of a forbidden affair between an older woman and young man. This played as William stood watching the sunset while Arlene fixed his car." I never realized the background music, maybe because I wasn’t paying attention to it at the time. I like how you pointed that out. I think that is interesting that they chose that song. (DANICA NOOR stated this in our discussion board) This is not socially escapable to do this, they welcomed him into their home, and he should have respected them for that.

Charlie is a very depressed father and he not in a good state of mind. He drinks, sleeps, and walks around the house naked. This is over the line for Charlie to walk around naked in front of another man and more than any thing in front of his 12 year old daughter. Maybe the reason Arlene let him stay is because she felt Charlie needed the interaction from another person. They were all alone with only George to visit. I think they were all feeling lonely and maybe that’s why she wanted Charlie to stay to help them feel like they had some normalcy in their life. (PAULETTE WOODS stated this in our discussion board) Arlene also gets their friend George to go to the city and get some pills for depression to give to Charlie. This is not only illegal but also a very poor example to their daughter. They should be teaching her right and wrong; not how to cheat the system.

Off The Map made me stop and think, is life really as hard as we make it out to be? We work so hard for every thing in our life and some times we get nowhere in our life. This movie made me think about what it was really trying to teach us. This movie was trying to show us that living simple is a better way to live then to always be stressed out. William stayed there and became a painter, lived just as care free as they were and for once he seemed happy and not as depressed as he always had been. I think this film was also allowing for Bo to fanaticize. I also believe that George was an important component to Bo's life. He was her stability and God Father. When he was leaving to get married, Bo truly felt a loss beyond her abilities to pretend or fanaticize about the out side world. This film is one that most of us viewed is non-conformity to our normal thinking. There is more then one thing in this movie that we felt were not expiable and over the line, but then as we talked about this movie we started thinking that it was a different time, they lived care free, and had different values then we did. This film brought new light to the meaning of off the map.